Being an Aunt is a largely fun experience: nurturing those little ones as they grow; laughing at the things they say and do; buying them the best presents ever. But one could argue that it's not the good times when Aunts are most needed; it's the bad times.

Last week, my family experienced a devastating loss: my beloved grandmother passed away after several years of serious illness. She was such a strong matriarch and such a loving person to us all that we were paralyzed by our grief. My Aunts by relation were really unable to comfort my sisters, cousins and I in the days leading up to her interment.

It was then that I needed my own Savvy Aunties the most, and they certainly came through. One Aunt sent exotic flowers that made us curious and took our minds off present events; my Aunt by choice brought desserts and a shoulder to cry on, and my godmother sent food and advice on how to make it through the rest of the week.

While these women are my Aunties and I continue to need their support, most of them were my mother's friends first. I asked them all to please continue to be good friends to her and to check in on her now and then. Unfortunately, most of them have already lost one or both of their parents and have been down the same path in their lives. I have to say they all seem stronger for it.

My heart and my thanks go out to my Aunties who stepped up to offer their support, their love and the sustenance my family needed to make it through one of the toughest weeks of our lives.

I hope that all of you Savvy Aunties have the ability to do whatever you can for your nieces and nephews in their times of need. Here is what you can do for your adult nieces and nephews when the time comes:

1. Be there. Never underestimate the power of a simple visit or phone call. Though it may seem like you can't help, you are doing a great deal by simply showing your support during the most emotional days of loss.

2. Ask what you can do. If you'd like to contribute something to the family, ask what they need. Paper products such as cups, forks and knives are usually welcomed, as are entrees. You may be asked to run errands or make phone calls on behalf of the family.

3. Be there "after." Once the business of the immediate aftermath is over, many people are left alone with their grief. Call to check up on your nieces and nephews, send a "thinking of you" card, or invite him or her on an outing. While your invitation may be declined, it's a great comfort to grieving nieces and nephews to know what you still care.

Melanie Linn Gutowski, Savvy Auntie's Associate Editor, is a proud Godmother and ABC.

Published: March 23, 2011